My Conversations with Arham

 Its been long. Arham is almost 7 now. It was a tough journey..

I had a small conversation with him a few days back and thought of writing it.

Me: Arham, let me ask you a question.

Arham : Ok

Me: How can you keep a horse in a fridge in 3 steps?

Arham tries but has no clue so he asks me.

Me:  Open the door, keep the elephant in, close the door.

Arham grins. 😬

Me: Ok. 1 more.

How will you keep elephant in a fridge in 4 steps.

This time, Arham  tries adding one step nsuccessfully and finally asks me.

Me : open the door, take out the horse, keep the elephant in, close the door.

Arham smiles, grins...

Me : ok. One more.

It is monkey's marriage party. Everyone goes there except one. Who is that?

Arham simply smiles and asks me to answer.

Me: elephant, because he is in the fridge.

 

Arham smiles and says that now he wants to ask a question.

 

I said ok.

 

Arham : Now that elephant is in the fridge, how can you keep the fox in just in 3 steps.

Me :  Ok. You answer.

 

Arham : Open the door, keep the fox in second tray, close the door..

 

Me: 😀😀😀

 

Arham : It is Goat's marriage. Everyone came except three animals.

 

Me : Elephant, fox and who??

 

Arham : Monkey, because he is busy celebrating his own marriage. 😀😀😀

 

I was left flabbergasted with his instant thinking.

 

God bless him.

The Crocodile, the Tiger and the Jungle : Arham's Story

Pls Note - This post is almost in continuation of the previous post which I wrote more than 2 years ago.

 

So, writing here after a long gap. Meanwhile, lot of stories have been told to Arham.

He has grown up and is 4+ now.

Yesterday, I tried telling him a story and he sprung a surprise and that’s what prompted me to write this post. Yesterday he said –

“Papa wait – I will tell you the story”

And then he went on as follows –

"Once a time, there was crocodile.

He was veeeeerrrrrrry thirsty.(With an expression of being thirsty by touching his throat)

He had water on terrace.(With hands pointing upwards towards the terrace)

He said Thank you.

And he went to the Jungle.

There was tiger in the Jungle.

Tiger ate the crocodile.

Dinosaur in the jungle.

Biiiiiiiiiiiig Dinosaur. (Lot of stress on Big)"

And then a few lines which I could not understand.

Then …

"Tiger slept.

Crocodile slept.

And Dinosaur slept.

Thank you."

From his perspective, the story was complete and he was satisfied.

And I was happy to hear the bed time story from my 4 year old.

And here is he...

A Kagla on Arham's Dagla

First bed time short story that i narrated today to my 2 yr old son Arham and he listened very patiently. Not sure how much he understood. 

Please note that, Kagla = Crow &

Dagla = Terrace

Once upon a time there was a kagla on Arham's  dagla. 

The kagla was feeling very thirsty. 

So he said to Arham - Dear Arham, I am feeling very thirsty. Please give me some water. 

Arham said - Dear kagla, wait a minute. I will come on the dagla with some water. 

Arham took a glass of water and went to his dagla. 

The kagla drank the water and quenched his thirst. 

The kagla then said to Arham - Dear Arham - Thanks a lot. 

Arham said to kagla - You're welcome. 

The kagla then flew away. 

And Arham came back from his dagla. 

Yes! We are a “Banana Republic”.

So, a company can be started by putting in a share capital of Rs 100,000. DLF will be happy to give loans/advances of Rs 50 crore to this company.

Go and buy land with this money. Then sell the land to DLF at Rs 300 cr.

Book a clean profit of more than Rs 200 cr after repaying the DLF loan with interest.

And all this in a few months. From Rs 1 lakh to Rs 200 cr.

Wow!! What a business model?

Yes! We are a “Banana Republic”.

Because we allowed this to happen.

Note: Numbers used are indicative and for the sake of illustration.

Sacrifice for the Nation. Really ????

This family should understand the meaning of sacrifice for the nation.

A soldier who knows that there is a high risk of him getting killed but still goes to the front for the sake of nation and gets killed has sacrificed his life for the nation.

Somebody becomes a Prime Minister knowing that there are lot of powers and benefits and then gets killed in a bomb blast or is shot dead cannot be treated as a sacrifice for the nation.

Unlike soldier, they never knew they are going to get killed this way but they still need to do it for the nation.

Further, the family of soldier doesn’t keep running around nation talking about sacrifice and expecting/enjoying further benefits, power and preferential treatment.

A soldier’s family doesn’t demand memorials, free land or any other discount.

They haven't sacrificed their life for the nation. It was an accident.

The power of Innovation

Just now, I read two news items -

1. Mukesh Ambani's personal wealth is $18 bn.
http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/news/news-by-industry/et-cetera/india-home-to-70-billionaires-mukesh-ambani-richest-man-with-fortune-of-18-bn/articleshow/31265967.cms

2. Zuckerberg's fortune grows by $15 bn as Facebook shares soar.
http://www.business-standard.com/article/international/zuckerberg-s-fortune-grows-by-usd-15-bn-as-facebook-shares-soar-114030200115_1.html

That's the difference between doing business on innovation and doing business on government policies or natural resources.

Most of the billionaires in India have played on government policies or natural resources. Be it Reliance, Airtel, Adani or Jindal.

Our system doesn't promote innovation. Hence, we don't have Microsoft, Apple or Facebook or even a Whatsapp which was recently sold off for $19bn - slightly higher than Mukesh Ambani's personal wealth.

Enjoy the coming months of this year

It’s Holi time now. And it’s time to save water. Get ready for series of forwarded messages asking you to save water. After Holi, messages will go away.

Then, we are going to have general elections. Modi wave, Rahul wave or Kejriwal wave but for sure north Indians are going to have heat wave.

Then as usual the country will get ready for monsoons and don’t worry – Trains will be late, traffic will be jam but Mumbai will survive this year too. And then we will say - Hats off to Mumbai spirit.

Bihar will have floods and Laloo will criticise Nitish the same way Nitish used to criticise him. And Bihar will look like this.

After monsoons, it will be time for –

Then,we will say no to crackers because Diwali will be approaching.

Nobody says no to killing the poor animal on Eid but crackers are a big No. L

Diwali as usual will also witness only Shahrukh khan movie of the year.

On 26/11, we will criticise Pakistan. Its customary.

And post all this it will be time to celebrate new year.

In between, there will be a few gaps and people like Diggy, Salman Khurshid will keep entertaining you.

A few gaps will also be filled by praising Ratan Tata and a few others.

Cartoons on Rahul Gandhi will keep coming in but we must understand that it’s tough to be Rahul Gandhi.

We will also see some secularism and communalism debate in between.

And last but not the least, Kejriwal will be at Jantar Mantar most of the time.

Enjoy the coming months of this year.

Don't look for soft targets

To all those critics of AAP - who have used terms like Aaptards, who have criticised AK even for his cough, who have criticised AAP for not fulfilling its agenda even after 30 days of forming government, who have criticised AK if he travels in his own WagonR and who have criticised his ministers if they use government provided Innova and especially who have stormed their offices at various places -

We truly appreciate your energy levels. We as a nation need your energy for better things.

We need you at border to fight with China or Pakistan. Please don't  keep quiet when China intrudes or Pakistan misbehaves by sending beheaded bodies.

Go and vandalise Pakistan or China. Criticise them for everything they do. Make their life tough with whatever they do.

AAP is just a small party and even if it is hand in gloves with congress, voters can throw them out easily. A bigger threat is from unruly neighbours. Please channelise your energy there.

Don't look for soft targets.

Happy Republic Day.

Even bad jokes deserve a break

Political correctness shouldn't overwhelm our sense of humour

A couple of years ago, when Kumar Vishwas was making jokes about Kerala nurses, he certainly would not have imagined it would come to haunt his future political career. After maintaining silence over the last two days while Youth Congress members in Kerala ransacked the offices of the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), Vishwas has finally apologised from the “depths of his heart”.

The two-year-old video emerged on YouTube this week. In it, Vishwas, who is seeking to fight against Rahul Gandhi in the forthcoming election, is seen berating Kerala nurses for their dark complexion. “One would naturally feel like calling them ‘sister’” he says, before going on to add that nurses these days who come from other parts of the country are much more glamorous. Kerala’s chief minister, Oommen Chandy, immediately wrote to Delhi’s chief minister, Arvind Kejriwal, seeking an apology.

While the essential sexism of Vishwas’ remarks cannot be denied, it is imperative that these be viewed within the context in where they were made. Vishwas was speaking at a hasya kavi sammelan — a humorous poetic round-table, as it were. These events are, by their nature, comical, and a talented poet is expected to be quickwitted. Some amount of teasing and inappropriate chatter is built into the very definition of the event. Attendees at such meets, as well as their modern cousins, the stand up comedy nights, expect to hear politically incorrect statements and offensively acerbic observations.

To pull up Vishwas for his comments at a kavi sammelan, then, essentially demonstrates an intolerance towards art. In fact, it is only different in degree from the actions of, say, religious fundamentalists who deface paintings and sculptures because gods or goddesses are “wrongly” depicted in them.

Since the horrific gang rape in Delhi in December 2012, the conversation about gender rights and sensitisation towards women have, rightfully, come to the forefront. It is, however, worrying if the ground gained in the dialogue about gender rights in India devolves to a certain kind of gender vigilantism. If every comment or slight is analysed clinically and without context, it will quickly erase all the gains made in the last year. Certainly, we should be able to talk about gender. And sometimes, we should be able to laugh about it too.

VEENA VENUGOPAL

(Senior Assistant Editor and Editor, BLink)